Protect Your Heart In Your Relationship

 “If my love were an ocean,
there would be no more land.
If my love were a desert,
you would see only sand.
If my love were a star-
late at night, only light.
And if my love could grow wings,
I’d be soaring in flight.”

I am a Love Story:

So I have always been a girl who wears her ectopic heart on her sleeve. I fall madly in love and head over heels when I find a connection with someone. I don’t play games, I speak my mind and I probably look like a loved up puppy dog.

I have learnt the hard way that you need to protect your heart first, don’t let it all bleed out to the first person who shows you their heart and soul. NO you must give it time, invite little parts of your heart to seep through the cracks and when the time is right let it all unfold organically.

Protect the Loveable Energy:

I am an energy magnet; I have some intense electric loved up energy in and around me, being born on the day of love I have been told I have a pink aura around me vibrating love to all who I meet. A clairvoyant once said to me that be careful what men enter my life because I am easy to fall in love with… I laughed because It sounded ridiculous. But I do project a lot of love, maybe even to much and after coming out of a 4.5 year relationship my heart broke into pieces. A few months later out of the blue I fell hard in love and a few weeks later my heart was broken again. A good friend who is connected to some higher spirit said to me, that I am giving to much love that the other person can not meet and my pink aura is so overpowering that engulfs the relationship.

I love how much I love, trust me I am not changing that about my self, after multiple heart breaks I bounce back and am so much stronger than ever. But a lesson that I have learnt is not to give, give, give my whole fucking heart. I end up so naked and vulnerable that its so easy to let cracks appear and then its only a matter of time before things start to come crashing down.

How to protect and open heart:

Surround yourself with amethyst stone crystals, I wear one around my neck and it lays just over my heart, amethysts are a healing and protection stone so to keep it over your heart it harness protection and love. Also think with your heart, filter it through your head before you speak. I was always just speaking through my heart like word vomit and ended up spilling all my secrets way to fast and left nothing to the imagination. Also remember to take things slow, wait until you really feel some strong, trusted loved up emotions before you drop the “L” bomb.

To this day, through all my heart breaks, I still choose to love with all my fucking heart. Nothing and no one will ever tarnish my little heart. I choose to keep loving and you should to. If you have gone through a break up and feel like you just cant go on, that you may never love again. Slap your self silly because girl you can and babes you will. Get the Itty Bitty Shitty Comity out of your god dam head, go and buy some rose quartz and inject loving thoughts into your life. 

Visualise Loved up Bliss

Close your eyes and visualize your perfect relationship. How would it look? How does it make you feel? Then write down your values and really stand strong in who you are, what you stand for and your beliefs. Once you determine this you will then attract a person who mirrors your core beliefs and values. You deserve nothing but the very best. Believe it baby, you will love again because love is the highest vibration in the universe with out love we would not be here. So forgive the ones who have hurt you, send them white shining light and wish them all the best for a kick ass life. You can only truly move on from a broken heart but first you must forgive. Do not get into another relationship with resentment from an old partner. You will hold onto that and that bad energy will be followed through into your next relationship. So forgive and forget, send love and move on baby.

So to all my single ladies, protect your heart, value your self, stand strong in who you are, never settle, and never stop loving your self first.

LOVE YOU LOADS

N x 

No Fucking Judgments Please

"Judging another does not define who they are, it defines who you are" 

Ok it’s a fact, we all judge. We might judge others, ourselves, people we see on TV and the list goes on. But did you know that the people that you judge might be really struggling deep down? Did you know that we are all facing intense mountain high battles on a daily basis? And here we are, judging, blaming, comparing and putting labels on people we hardly know. I do not care what you look like, where your are from, what you wear, how old you are, what music you like, how much you have fucked up. NO because I am NOT you. I do not know the battles you are facing, the emotions you are going through, and the pain that is underneath that smile. How can I judge when I to am not perfect?

Stick It to the Judgement Bitch:

So as some of you may know I was diagnosed with a mental health illness known as bipolar aka (My Secret Blessing). I ended up in hospital, I was not in a good way, anxiety attacks, heart palpitations, extremely low blood pressure, beyond negative self talk, severally underweight and burnt out. I ended up in rehab and shared the hospital with other mental health patients, drugs and alcohol patients and the eating disorder patients. This was the first time that I really dropped all judgment and could be my true self amongst all the other nutters.

We are all Nut Jobs:

On the out side, these people would get judged on a daily basis, from their appearance and the lack of self-confidence and the drug abuse. But when I sat down, and decided to just be real and raw with them, they opened up to me about their own journey and what amazing stories they had. I met people who served time in jail, I met people who were sexually abused, I met people who were suffering from physcotic behavior, I met people who were bulimic, anorexic and servily depressed. I sat, listened and was open hearted talking to these people and I just decided not to judge, no matter how horrible their diagnosis or how far down they have gotten, no matter how many drugs they have taken. I did not judge. I realized that we are all humans, the stories they shared are there own personal struggles and triumphs and we all hold a little book of our lives.

Please STOP the Judgement:

So please I am begging you, do not judge. You have no idea what people are going through, you have no idea how much hurt some a suffering, you have no idea what your words can do to people, and you have no idea what impact negative comments have on these souls. Its life threatening. Please be kind, open your heart to the homeless, smile at a stranger, give more compliments and less complaints, be friendly to your neighbor and choose to soften and surrender.

Love + Light,

Nikki x 

Falling From The Pedestal

“ We were born to be real not to be prefect”

Today I declare to you that I have jumped, leaped and falling down from my pedestal. Social media plays a huge roll in how others, my followers, fans and other health nuts view me. Happy, Healthy, Full of Life, Energetic, Soulful and a Ray of Sunshine right? Well let me tell you that yes if I don’t say so my self I am those things, however I am my biggest contradiction.

So Listen Up, This Is Whats Going Down...

I have been suffering from a mental illness, like so many out there who are suffering, honey I can totally relate. From bouncing off the walls, to being in the fetal position with mascara bleeding eyes and a bird’s nest hair do. I have felt the feelings of the emotions of my diagnosis and believe me its not been pretty, it has been a whirlwind of a ride and unfortunately I will never be off this rollercoaster.

Thankfully, I have embraced my illness, I am not defined by a label and I certainty want to rise up and break the stigma of mental health, because babe, I did not choose this, it choose me. Its my beautiful hidden blessing. I am blessed to have this illness. I am learning so much about my self, I am finding out so much about others, I am learning who my true friends and support net work are, and I have gained insight on the importance of a strong family bond. A mixture of self-belief and unconditional love has helped me get through some of the lowest days of my life.

Hanging Up The Wings...

So today I decide to hang up my wings, I leave the title of “Super Woman” and I choose to be just “Woman” all woman, in all my glory, in all my moods, in my mess and in my triumphs. I am my biggest contradiction and I love that about my self. I ramble on about self love, being mindful, eating well and living a holistic life and most of the time yes I am that girl, but I have that side of me, that sad little lonely side that drops it all and heads down a dark suburban road with no intention of ever coming back. Luckily down that road I can see a light and I always follow that light and get my self back out each time.

So let me ask YOU, are you trying to be “Super Woman”? Are you trying to be something that your not? Are you faking it till you making it, but just end up faking it all? You need to drop this charade, you’re not fooling any one and babes it must be super exhausting on your soul.

Perfection Can Go Suck A Fat One...

We are not perfect; in fact we should all be far from it. I love every flaw that I have. I love the fact that I rub my nose with my knuckles, I love the fact that I say “totally” and “amazing” after every second word. I love every freckle that lays on my body, I love every bump and blemish. I love how imperfect I am. I have truly fallen from my pedestal and its so liberating, and I want to encourage you to do the same. Drop the shit and be you, be all of you. You do not have to prove your self with you Super Woman, instead be the fun loving, quirky weirdo that is within. I like her, I want to meet her!!

Love + Light,

Nikki x

A Flower in a Wind Storm

A Flower in a Wind Strom

A dark time in my life, a wise friend once told me...

“You are a flower just trying to bloom, but a storm keeps burying you. One day… Boom, and you will bloom and be strong enough to stand in the wind and the rain”

My journey in life has been glorious, travel, new experiences, new faces and beautiful opportunities also along with heart break, anxiety, sadness and grief. I have welcomed in a new part of my self, I am still finding out who she is and how does she serve a place in my life, It’s a journey that is never ending, we constantly are sharing our first date over and over again. This new girl with in me is here for me to teach a lesson and for months I have been neglecting her but now I see her beauty and I choose to listen, and become her friend...

I am sure you have qualities about your self that you wish did not consume you, and I bet underneath it all you have so much goodness that wants to ozze out just like a tap with dripping golden water. But what happens when we have a clogged drainpipe, and all the good we have inside is masked by fear, anger and judgment?

Have you felt like this? Have you felt like nothing and no one can change the way you feel? Do you feel that you would rather give up then fight another day? Well I can resonate with you. Yes the happiest, inspirational Nikki also has a sad side, I side that I am accepting and a side that I am learning to love.

Like a Flower you to will Bloom Baby

We are all beautiful flowers in a garden of life, each of us share similar quality but ones petal may be larger than the next and how we grow and evolve will be as individual as our neighbor. Like a flower you will bloom baby. But first you must water the plant.

Water your Flower:

Give your inner flower time to grow, you have planted the seed for a beautiful life, when you eliminate the ego self and be truly venerable you will see your self for who you really are, a beautiful spiritual being with your own values and beliefs, your own heart and your own breath. Water your inner flower by giving your self some love, eat foods that make you come alive, engage in conversations that are meaningful and that serves you well, take time to just be you. To water your flower you must come from a place of unconditional love and a nurturing space.

Give your flower some Sunshine:

Give your self the space to shine bright honey. I mean really own your power, what you believe in, what you stand for, who you are as a person, the words that you speak, the songs that you sing. All that amazingness just own it, embrace it and share it will the world. Be kind to your self and kind to others, feel the sun on your skin and know that you are here on this earth for a reason to grow and shine in your own magical way.

Embrace the storm:

Wouldn’t it be lovely to go through life with only highs, to have that perfect life like Barbie and Ken. Its not reality, its far from it, instead we must hold on tight and embrace the storm. Your inner flower will sway in the wind from time to time, we may suffer from grief, depression, loosing a loved one and many earthly heart breaking experiences. Your flower may get damaged, it may loose its color or a petal may fall but know that you can rebuild, you can lay some more fertilizer down and keep growing higher and stronger. When life gets in your way, just hold on tight, choose to fight, the storm will pass. As hard as it is at the time know that each moment holds a very important life lesson. Stand strong you beautiful flower.

“I buried all my pain in the garden. A beautiful tree started to grow. All of our dirt will one day be fertilizer”