Bitch Be Like "Its My Ego Talking"

“Ego Says: once every thing falls into place I will find peace.

Spirit says: Find peace and every thing will fall into place.”

When you shift gears and become (awake) is what I like to call it. Being totally aware of the spirit world, in touch with your mind body and soul you start to notice things, your intuition gets that little bit stronger and you have a burning desire to live through your truth. Have you been there? It’s a pretty vulnerable place as you may be confronted with a whole lot of walls to break down.

My awaken transformation happened at the age of 20. I just moved out and started a new job in fashion, I thought I ruled the world I thought I had it all, until my itty bitty shitty comity in my head started to kick in. I started worrying about what to wear, what labels to buy, how I look, the right thing to say and how I presented my self to society. I was a total mess, I was not living my truth, I morphed into a fake world and lost my way in between. I started reading self help books, cliché I know but life changing YES. From these books came an array of daily affirmations, vision boards, positive self talk, intense visulisations and my journey of manifestation begun.

I started to stop faking and started live my truth.

I noticed quickly that every thing I thought I was, was not me it was my ego. My big fat ugly bitch mean girl ego and I saw how it ruined my life!!

Girl you aint your ego!!

You are not your JOB

You are not your LABELED CLOTHING

You are not your HOME LOCATION

You are not your INCOME

You are not your LOOKS

You are not your MATERIAL ITEMS

You are not your FRIENDS

You are You, the only You that exists. You are your soul, your inner spirit. With out the external self you are a creature of nature and physical being living in this material world. I want to strip you down so you are bare, raw and let your authentic self shine bright.

I guess what really grinds my gears and what I experienced today and infact on a daily basis… Is people living through their ego self, the mean girl, the bitch with in them consumes them of all their beauty and instead radiates nasty vibes into the solar system. Bad negative energy that is unwanted. Think before you speak my ego friends.

A friendly reminder:

Before you blame, judge or critise, check in with you inner self. Your ego just wants to play, put that bitch to rest.

When you find your self with negative self talk, put the ego bitch to rest and close your eyes pop your hand on your heart and sink into your soul. You are all kinds of amazingness so just remember that.

When others judge you because of your, appearance, your clothing, your car, your home, your income. Virtually bitch slap them because they arnt seeing the real you, they are seeing the Ego self, and that bitch aint your truth.

So before you make judgment, before you control or blame or bitch. Firstly STOP and BREATHE and check in with your heart and soul. Ask your self… is this my Ego talking? If the answer is YES, then drop it, drop all of it and surrender. You are more than just your ego you are divine grace. Belive it baby!!

Love + Light,

Nikki x

Protect Your Heart In Your Relationship

 “If my love were an ocean,
there would be no more land.
If my love were a desert,
you would see only sand.
If my love were a star-
late at night, only light.
And if my love could grow wings,
I’d be soaring in flight.”

I am a Love Story:

So I have always been a girl who wears her ectopic heart on her sleeve. I fall madly in love and head over heels when I find a connection with someone. I don’t play games, I speak my mind and I probably look like a loved up puppy dog.

I have learnt the hard way that you need to protect your heart first, don’t let it all bleed out to the first person who shows you their heart and soul. NO you must give it time, invite little parts of your heart to seep through the cracks and when the time is right let it all unfold organically.

Protect the Loveable Energy:

I am an energy magnet; I have some intense electric loved up energy in and around me, being born on the day of love I have been told I have a pink aura around me vibrating love to all who I meet. A clairvoyant once said to me that be careful what men enter my life because I am easy to fall in love with… I laughed because It sounded ridiculous. But I do project a lot of love, maybe even to much and after coming out of a 4.5 year relationship my heart broke into pieces. A few months later out of the blue I fell hard in love and a few weeks later my heart was broken again. A good friend who is connected to some higher spirit said to me, that I am giving to much love that the other person can not meet and my pink aura is so overpowering that engulfs the relationship.

I love how much I love, trust me I am not changing that about my self, after multiple heart breaks I bounce back and am so much stronger than ever. But a lesson that I have learnt is not to give, give, give my whole fucking heart. I end up so naked and vulnerable that its so easy to let cracks appear and then its only a matter of time before things start to come crashing down.

How to protect and open heart:

Surround yourself with amethyst stone crystals, I wear one around my neck and it lays just over my heart, amethysts are a healing and protection stone so to keep it over your heart it harness protection and love. Also think with your heart, filter it through your head before you speak. I was always just speaking through my heart like word vomit and ended up spilling all my secrets way to fast and left nothing to the imagination. Also remember to take things slow, wait until you really feel some strong, trusted loved up emotions before you drop the “L” bomb.

To this day, through all my heart breaks, I still choose to love with all my fucking heart. Nothing and no one will ever tarnish my little heart. I choose to keep loving and you should to. If you have gone through a break up and feel like you just cant go on, that you may never love again. Slap your self silly because girl you can and babes you will. Get the Itty Bitty Shitty Comity out of your god dam head, go and buy some rose quartz and inject loving thoughts into your life. 

Visualise Loved up Bliss

Close your eyes and visualize your perfect relationship. How would it look? How does it make you feel? Then write down your values and really stand strong in who you are, what you stand for and your beliefs. Once you determine this you will then attract a person who mirrors your core beliefs and values. You deserve nothing but the very best. Believe it baby, you will love again because love is the highest vibration in the universe with out love we would not be here. So forgive the ones who have hurt you, send them white shining light and wish them all the best for a kick ass life. You can only truly move on from a broken heart but first you must forgive. Do not get into another relationship with resentment from an old partner. You will hold onto that and that bad energy will be followed through into your next relationship. So forgive and forget, send love and move on baby.

So to all my single ladies, protect your heart, value your self, stand strong in who you are, never settle, and never stop loving your self first.

LOVE YOU LOADS

N x 

No Fucking Judgments Please

"Judging another does not define who they are, it defines who you are" 

Ok it’s a fact, we all judge. We might judge others, ourselves, people we see on TV and the list goes on. But did you know that the people that you judge might be really struggling deep down? Did you know that we are all facing intense mountain high battles on a daily basis? And here we are, judging, blaming, comparing and putting labels on people we hardly know. I do not care what you look like, where your are from, what you wear, how old you are, what music you like, how much you have fucked up. NO because I am NOT you. I do not know the battles you are facing, the emotions you are going through, and the pain that is underneath that smile. How can I judge when I to am not perfect?

Stick It to the Judgement Bitch:

So as some of you may know I was diagnosed with a mental health illness known as bipolar aka (My Secret Blessing). I ended up in hospital, I was not in a good way, anxiety attacks, heart palpitations, extremely low blood pressure, beyond negative self talk, severally underweight and burnt out. I ended up in rehab and shared the hospital with other mental health patients, drugs and alcohol patients and the eating disorder patients. This was the first time that I really dropped all judgment and could be my true self amongst all the other nutters.

We are all Nut Jobs:

On the out side, these people would get judged on a daily basis, from their appearance and the lack of self-confidence and the drug abuse. But when I sat down, and decided to just be real and raw with them, they opened up to me about their own journey and what amazing stories they had. I met people who served time in jail, I met people who were sexually abused, I met people who were suffering from physcotic behavior, I met people who were bulimic, anorexic and servily depressed. I sat, listened and was open hearted talking to these people and I just decided not to judge, no matter how horrible their diagnosis or how far down they have gotten, no matter how many drugs they have taken. I did not judge. I realized that we are all humans, the stories they shared are there own personal struggles and triumphs and we all hold a little book of our lives.

Please STOP the Judgement:

So please I am begging you, do not judge. You have no idea what people are going through, you have no idea how much hurt some a suffering, you have no idea what your words can do to people, and you have no idea what impact negative comments have on these souls. Its life threatening. Please be kind, open your heart to the homeless, smile at a stranger, give more compliments and less complaints, be friendly to your neighbor and choose to soften and surrender.

Love + Light,

Nikki x 

Falling From The Pedestal

“ We were born to be real not to be prefect”

Today I declare to you that I have jumped, leaped and falling down from my pedestal. Social media plays a huge roll in how others, my followers, fans and other health nuts view me. Happy, Healthy, Full of Life, Energetic, Soulful and a Ray of Sunshine right? Well let me tell you that yes if I don’t say so my self I am those things, however I am my biggest contradiction.

So Listen Up, This Is Whats Going Down...

I have been suffering from a mental illness, like so many out there who are suffering, honey I can totally relate. From bouncing off the walls, to being in the fetal position with mascara bleeding eyes and a bird’s nest hair do. I have felt the feelings of the emotions of my diagnosis and believe me its not been pretty, it has been a whirlwind of a ride and unfortunately I will never be off this rollercoaster.

Thankfully, I have embraced my illness, I am not defined by a label and I certainty want to rise up and break the stigma of mental health, because babe, I did not choose this, it choose me. Its my beautiful hidden blessing. I am blessed to have this illness. I am learning so much about my self, I am finding out so much about others, I am learning who my true friends and support net work are, and I have gained insight on the importance of a strong family bond. A mixture of self-belief and unconditional love has helped me get through some of the lowest days of my life.

Hanging Up The Wings...

So today I decide to hang up my wings, I leave the title of “Super Woman” and I choose to be just “Woman” all woman, in all my glory, in all my moods, in my mess and in my triumphs. I am my biggest contradiction and I love that about my self. I ramble on about self love, being mindful, eating well and living a holistic life and most of the time yes I am that girl, but I have that side of me, that sad little lonely side that drops it all and heads down a dark suburban road with no intention of ever coming back. Luckily down that road I can see a light and I always follow that light and get my self back out each time.

So let me ask YOU, are you trying to be “Super Woman”? Are you trying to be something that your not? Are you faking it till you making it, but just end up faking it all? You need to drop this charade, you’re not fooling any one and babes it must be super exhausting on your soul.

Perfection Can Go Suck A Fat One...

We are not perfect; in fact we should all be far from it. I love every flaw that I have. I love the fact that I rub my nose with my knuckles, I love the fact that I say “totally” and “amazing” after every second word. I love every freckle that lays on my body, I love every bump and blemish. I love how imperfect I am. I have truly fallen from my pedestal and its so liberating, and I want to encourage you to do the same. Drop the shit and be you, be all of you. You do not have to prove your self with you Super Woman, instead be the fun loving, quirky weirdo that is within. I like her, I want to meet her!!

Love + Light,

Nikki x